Upward Spiral

spiral up

My life is going so well this summer. I can’t comprehend how quickly and beautifully my life has gone in an upward spiral in June/July. It’s finally my time to get what I have been working towards after a rocky 2016-2017.

The bottom of the spiral

“To go up, you must start at the bottom.”

In 2016 I was struggling with school, I had so much on my plate. I was hanging out with people who didn’t value me as a person. That went on until 2017 until I quit the club I put my heart and soul into, it was hard to leave. After leaving, a weight was lifted off my shoulders, but I went into isolation mode. The last few months of Senior year I decided not to make new friends because I thought it was too late. Students had already established their close circles. I was a drifter going off campus, to class, hiding in my room listening to records. It was a lonely, but also a liberating time to rediscover what I truly wanted in life. I lost a few good friends, and felt forgotten by people who I was close with in the past. While seniors were hanging out at senior events, I was in the practice rooms playing piano. I was consistently writing out my plans for after graduation, so I can start fresh. I did have a couple of close friends here and there who meant a lot to me, but I didn’t have a close-knit group that I so desired.

I graduated with a “get me out of here fast” mentality. I left all the people who kinda knew me behind. It felt good and I’m so glad I experienced that turmoil and loneliness. It was the bottom of the upward spiral.

arrow spiraling up

Momentum Begins Upward!

THE day after graduation when I came home I was very hopeful. I decided to start my own business teaching piano and distributed flyers as fast as I could.  I thought:

“I am living in a new populated city, no one knows me, I am going to study the main thing I want in the Fall. AND, I’m going to make friends in the community.” I elaborated on these hopeful thoughts in my journal.

Things picked up when I got two adorable students. And I enjoyed teaching them about something I am obviously passionate about. To meet like-minded people in the area I started going to meetup events like meditations and art events. Then at a meditation I met three really cool, caring, adventurous people, two were a few years older than me, and another one was closer to my age. We went to Frida fest together, took a hiking trip near Austin, and we’re going to hike in Arkansas this weekend. They are the people I was hoping to find and I am very grateful for their positivity and friendship.

My piano teaching business wasn’t picking up because people weren’t repsonding to my flyers. So I applied to a music studio where I teach in people’s homes. And I got the job! Now I don’t need to actively search for students, and I can teach students on my own time while I study at SMU.

A week ago I also got another opportunity to play hymns at SMU’s chapel for Course of Study, my first church playing gig for $50 a day. I am playing seven days of worship services. My Mom is currently showing me the ropes for music leading, because she did this job for decades.

Right now I am so grateful for this upward spiral. I have good friendship, a flexible part time job that I like to do, I get to write in this blog everyday, and I get to continue to study my favorite thing to do in the Fall: music!
I feel blessed to have time to be creative, to write, paint, make videos, and of course play piano. That all started when I took the plunge to trust in myself and in my musicianship. I trusted there are friends out there to travel with, and bam here they are! Life spirals up and down, and we need to experience the downs to experience the joy of spiraling upward. I hope this beautiful upward spiral will keep gaining momentum, because I feel things are just starting.

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