This is my private journal entry that I made today, but I’m going to make it public because it might help someone.
“Just had what I believe to have been the worst piano lesson I’ve has so far. Or should I say best? Because I learned a lot about how i should practice. It was frustrating. I couldn’t get the simplest instructions and it was very embarrassing. The first time i played through the Beethoven it was a lot of mistakes, voicing mistakes, I just felt bad playing it. I wasn’t as good as I thought I was and it’s like all of my effort went down the drain. In the practice room it sounded good and when I played there is was all over the place. I couldn’t focus because I just felt defeated so when he asked me to play something I literally couldn’t get out of that feeling and get it together. It was stressful.
I made a mistake and he said said “shows how much you practice”
This week I put in more hours of practice than ever. That was the most frustrating thing. I practice 3-4 hours a day go to bed by 11pm because I practice at night. THere was nothing to show for my efforts… I “learned” the entire first and second movement of the Beethoven, and Liszt’s Widmung, worked on the 3rd movement of Beethoven. I was practicing a lot. I was moving fast trying to get it down in a hurry… but that was the problem
I was rushing too much.
I was practicing inefficiently. I didn’t play slow enough to get the phrasings down, to get it engrained into my fingers. It wasn’t ripe yet.
So now I learned I need to start at the basics, slow repetitive practice. Focus on the details.
Today I had a failure moment, but I’m glad I failed because that means I’m trying and that I’m growing. I want to fail some more and learn some more. That’s why I’m here. I might be the least experienced student (this is my first Beethoven sonata) but I’m fully dedicated, motivated, and willing to practice slowly and deliberately.
I now need to adjust my practice routine:
Slowly one line at a time. Repeat 10 times.
Slowly 1 page at a time, repeat 5 times.”
Today I need to take a mental break and work on myself.. do some meditating read and go for a run. I need to get my mind off of this disappointment.
Then I can start fresh tomorrow.